


Of Heroes and Villains

by BayleyWinchester



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Hero AU, Hero Steve Rogers, Heroes and Villains, Lovers To Enemies, Multi, No Winter Soldier, Reader-Insert, Villain Bucky, Villains, World War III
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-20 22:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BayleyWinchester/pseuds/BayleyWinchester
Summary: World War 3 had been the worst war in the history of Human Kind. America had grown sick of losing men on the field, so they created the Super-Soldier Program. Your boyfriends, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes had volunteered and had been the only ones to come out alive.Now, five years after the war had been won and everything was different. Bucky had grown sick of the government, sick of being a hero. He had turned his back on you, Steve and his work to become the Villain he is today.Too bad you couldn't get over him and he couldn't get over you.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Yay!! A new Stucky x Reader story!
> 
> It's a bit different than my others as it's darker. Only a little don't worry. And still plenty of fluff!
> 
> Hope you guys like this one :)

The news compilation had been sent to you anonymously. 

You had played it, of course you had, because you were a sucker and you liked to pretend you could handle things you couldn’t. The moment his face had come on screen tears had gathered in your eyes. He looked so young, so lively, so happy and so your Bucky. 

First, it had been clips from the training center the boys had gone to, random glimpse of the two of them among other soldiers. Then it was the news report on the new program being developed, an army general, General Chester Phillip, appeared on screen. You knew him personally, he was as every bit as stoic in real life as he was on your phone. “This is a war, we need the best to win it. The first two wars were close calls, and unless we want to revert to Nukes in this one, we need men on the ground. We want World War Three to be over as soon as possible.”

It cut to a clip of Steve and Bucky, both baby-faced and happy. They were in their uniform, but you could see the outline of the lockets they wore. All three of you had a matching one with a picture from high school in it. You smiled at the screen when you saw that, your hand going to your neck where the locket still sat all these years later.

Then it was a clip of a lady in a newsroom, a picture of your boys beside her, they didn’t look the same anymore. “Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes we’re the only survivors.” 

Who would have guessed that the two best friends would be the only ones to survive? 

“Capitan America and The Winter Soldier were put to work straight away,” another news lady said. This one was outside on an old battlefield, ruins of a town surrounded her and gunshots could be heard in the distance. “Victory surrounds them wherever they go.”

Victory. That wasn’t what you would call it. Broken promises and heartbreak. That was what followed your boys, and by association you, now.

Another news clip, and another and another. All different broadcasters, different reporters, and different settings. All the same message. Captain America and The Winter Soldier were the heroes the world needed, never losing a battle and slowly but surely winning the war in their own right. 

Footage of the nuclear strikes were next. God, you could remember the morning you woke up to that news. London, Berlin, and Paris had all been bombed, and as you were watching, Washington. Bucky had called to make sure you were okay and then a helicopter was taking you to a safe house in the middle of nowhere Utah. The video kept playing all the footage, audio of people blaming your boys over the top. 

Suddenly they weren’t the symbol everyone needed, they were hated, they were blamed because they hadn’t won the war sooner. It was affecting them, you could tell, every video clip they changed. Steve looked like the defiant boy you had always known like the hate was a challenge. Bucky started looking angrier and angrier until he just looked resigned at the hateful comments, you should have known sooner.

“A turning point in the war,” the reporter boasted. “Captain America and The Winter Soldier have successfully taken down six enemy bases across Russia. This could bring the war to a close a lot faster than originally thought.”

Then footage of Bucky being thrown back in a blast. Everyone was worried about The Winter Soldier - you were worried about your Bucky. He was rushed to a hospital in the states, it was the most time you had spent with him in years, his arm was gone but his smile remained the same. Some tech genius came together and created a new arm for him, fully functional and just like a real arm only metal. You said it made him look like a cyborg and he said it made him look bad-ass. 

Steve was on screen, a ruined building behind him and Bucky nowhere to be seen. “All we want is for the war to be over so that innocents are no longer being harmed - on both sides.”

Ever the gentleman Steve Rogers, girls were lining up to be with him. You rolled your eyes at their neediness. No one had ever like Steve before the serum, they judged him based on his looks and looks alone, in your mind no one else deserved him. If they couldn’t love him for his heart they couldn’t have him. But, no one listened to your thoughts on the matter, and they continued to fawn all over the handsome soldier on their screens. Bucky got the same treatment, although, he was in the media a lot less now.

“Victory!” Everyone cried as the war ended. You were ecstatic, the war had been won and your boys were on their way home. 

The next news clip had you in it, your reunion. The tears came back as you watched it, you all sprinted across the tarmac to each other and they just held you for so long. You had seen this clip hundreds of times but it still made your heart jump. Was it love or sadness? You didn’t know. 

More footage of the war, the cleanup and the mess. Hundreds of millions had been killed, huge reclamation efforts were being made. Almost all of Europe was uninhabitable now, survivors were being shipped into the States and to Australia and New Zealand. Steve and Bucky were being shipped everywhere as well, trying to clean up the mess the way had made. 

They weren't doing to good.

Clips didn’t show the stress the boys were put under. Not only were they being used by governments to clean up and help, they were on news stations every night, trying to calm the worldwide panic the war had caused. During the rare nights, they were home with you, nightmares would wake them, screams turning to sobs as you held them through it. 

You closed your eyes as the next news clips showed. The majority of the war efforts had been finished. Steve and Bucky had been recruited by SHIELD and we’re now agents. You had pouted and wanted them home with you. Steve had said something about his job and Bucky had said he needed to protect Steve. A reporter was talking about their new lives, prying into your life before the war and discussing who they were. Bucky growled at the TV when you had watched it with them, turning it off and stalking out of the room. 

“Breaking news tonight,” the lady said in a monotone voice. You scowled at your phone as you watched it. “The Winter Soldier was seen fighting with Captain America outside the SHIELD headquarters early this afternoon. After the fight, he loudly declared that he was no longer ‘on your side. Or their side. I’m on my own side’. SHIELD and Captain America have yet to respond.” 

It wasn’t just Captain America and The Winter Soldier though, to the world maybe, but to you, they were so much more. 

That night had been hell. You had been brought to the headquarters, everyone was panicking and Steve just held you in his office. No one but you and Steve really knew what was happening, they thought it to be a sick joke that would be fixed. 

It wasn’t. 

Bucky had officially declared himself to be Captain America’s enemy.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve rested his head on your shoulder, “you shouldn’t watch that.”

“I already did.”

He took the phone from your hand and deleted the video. “Was it the news footage one? I got sent it as well.”

“It was.”

“Why did you watch it, babydoll? You know it’s just going to hurt you.”

“Wanted to. Do you know who sent it?”

“Nat’s running the IP address now. She’s going to try and find out for us,” Steve said. “If she does we’ll go talk to the person who sent it. Are you okay?”

You shrugged, not really if you were being honest. The videos of Bucky had shaken you up, but it wasn’t anything you hadn’t dealt with before and you were sure you would deal with it again. Bucky wasn’t a thought you could escape. “It’s fine, it’s just news we’ve seen before,” you said and Steve kissed your temple. “Besides, the footage doesn’t show the real Bucky.”

~~

_ “Hey, wait up!” _

_ Steve tugged on your hand as the two of you continued to run, Bucky catching up quickly. You and Steve ran into his bedroom and to the other side of the bed, watching as Bucky ran in and stopped by the door, leaning on the doorframe with a smirk on his face. God, that smirk, you loved and hated that thing. How many times had it gotten you into trouble? But you couldn’t live without it in your life. _

_ “You’re trapped now,” he boasted.  _

_ “No, we’re not!” Steve argued, ever the defiant one. “We could jump out the window.”  _

_ You peered behind you, Steve’s apartment was three stories up, so you weren’t about to jump out. Bucky scoffed and rolled his eyes at Steve’s idea. He pushed himself off the door and stalked over to you. You squeaked and hid behind Steve’s body, hardly helpful seeing as you were basically the same size as him. Bucky continued until he was standing right in front of you, Steve puffing out his chest to seem bigger - he was nowhere near Bucky’s size, however. Even at the young age of six, Bucky was bigger than other kids. He could pass for an older kid easily.  _

_ Reaching out as quick as he could, Bucky jabbed Steve in the sides, he doubled over as Bucky tickled him which gave you time to get over the bed and away from them. You didn’t get far before Steve started coughing loudly and Bucky stopped tickling him, helping him onto the bed. You and Bucky sat beside him, ready to grab his medicine, but he stopped after a minute and smiled at you.  _

_ Bucky turned to you, “you turn.” _

_ Squealing again you jumped over the bed and tried to run out of the room, but against the both of them, you had no chance. Bucky grabbed one wrist and Steve the other, tugging you back into the room with them.  _

_ Again you were saved when Steve’s mother called up that your mother was there to pick you up. Bucky sighed as you all stood up, “school tomorrow, you’re getting it.” _

_ “No, no punishments in school.” _

_ “I don’t care.” _

_ “That’s the rule!” _

_ “I. Don’t. Care,” Bucky replied. He wrapped his arms around the two of you as you walked down the stairs together. “Last day of elementary,” he said. “We should do something cool after school.”  _

_ Steve nodded, “oh yeah. Arcade and a movie night?”  _

_ “Sounds good,” you smiled. The arcade was a place that you and the boys frequented, it was your favourite hangout spot and you had spent hours there with them. “We can have a sleepover at mine,” you continued.  _

_ “Great,” Bucky said.  _

_ Your mother was waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs, your bag already in her hand. “Hi, Bucky, Hey, Steve.” _

_ Both of them waved and greeted her. “Mom, can we have a sleepover tomorrow night?” You asked, shouldering your school bag. “To celebrate the end of school.” _

_ She looked at Steve’s mom who nodded, “so long as it’s okay with Bucky’s mom.”  _

_ The boy in question shrugged, “she won’t care.” _

_ “Sounds good you can come over.” _

_ You grinned at the boys, who smiled right back. They both kissed a cheek, both moms cooing at the sight before you left them alone. “See you tomorrow,” you waved at them over your shoulder.  _

~~

“Well don’t you look dashing,” you said to Steve when he walked out of his bedroom. “New suit?” Steve nodded and tucked his hands around his belt buckle. His new suit was darker than the old one, tighter as well. His shield was strapped to his back as usual as he stood in front of you so you could observe his new look. “Captain America looks good.”

He rolled his eyes at your comment. “It’s the stealth suit, I told you about it last week.”

“Oh yeah,” you stood from the armchair and placed your hands on his shoulders. “Well, it looks good.”

“You already said that.”

“Tis the truth.”

Rolling his eyes again he pulled you in for a hug. He did look good, he always did when he was wearing tactical gear. You weren’t blind. He sighed before speaking softly, “I’ve got to go. Maria has new information for me on Bucky. Apparently, he was spotted in Romania early this week.”

“I wish you wouldn’t call him that. I like living in denial.”

“Yeah, I know. We’ve got to accept the path he chose and deal with it.”

“If you let me go with you-”

“Y/N, we both know that’s way too dangerous.” 

“But I could help him! I can help you!”

“Or you could die,” he kissed your forehead and pulled back. “I’m not letting you die. I’ll be back in time for dinner,” he stepped back. You smiled at him - even if you were still a little annoyed that he wouldn’t let you talk to Bucky. No point fighting with him now, but you weren’t done with the conversation. He left the apartment you called home and you settled back into the armchair, picking up your book and getting re-immersed in the story. 

The next time you looked up from the book in your hands was hours later, the sun had already gone down and your stomach was growling. The door was opening and Steve was calling out for you. You put your book down and rubbed your eyes, colours exploding behind the lids. Steve walked into the room with a fresh cut above his eyebrow and a box of pizza in his hands. 

“What happened?” You asked reaching out to touch the side of the cut. It wasn’t bad, nothing the super soldier couldn’t handle. “I thought it was just information?” 

“It was. It didn’t happen at work.”

“So you just randomly got cut or…”

“A drunk tried to grab the pizza, I didn’t let him and he pulled a knife.”

“Oh damn.”

He shrugged, “I’m fine. Plus, we have pizza.”

“I can see that,” you muttered. You took the box off him and made him sit on one of the bar stools while you got the first aid kit. He grumbled that he didn’t need it, you sent him a glare and he stopped. After patching him up you sat beside him and opened the pizza. “So, was the info good?”

“Yes and no. It was old, no way he’s still there but at least we have a basic idea of where he went. There are agents checking it out now, hopefully, it means we can get to him quicker.”

“I still think I should help, I-”

“No.”

“Stevie, I know him just as well as you do, why don’t you want my help? You’ve been trying to get him for five years!” You protested. It was all true, you were just as valuable to the manhunt as Steve was but no wanted you on the case. You thought it was stupid, why couldn’t he see that?

Steve sighed, “Y/N, he could hurt you.”   


“Do you really think he would hurt me?” You asked causing Steve to pause. “He doesn’t even hurt you that badly, only gives you what he knows you can take, just like when we were kids. He’s had hundreds of opportunities to kill you and he doesn’t! You know you need all the help you can get.”

“And if he captures you, demands something of me for your return? What then, you’re not a super soldier, babydoll. I’m not letting you get hurt, I’d rather Bucky won then you get hurt, please just trust me."

You pouted a little but nodded. You could drop it for tonight, but next time he came up you’d have the same argument just like every other time. He sighed in relief and smiled at you, thankful he could relax for the night. “Don’t worry, babydoll, when we get him I’ll make sure you get to talk to him before he gets sentenced.” 

“So,” you said after a beat of silence. “Movie night?”

~~

Your job was a strange one. On one hand, it was one of the most important jobs of the century but on the other hand, you weren’t really allowed to do anything. You worked for the UN-funded charity New-House, you and a team of others worked to get people out of bad places and into new cities or towns. With the number of refugees after the war, it was a busy and a needed job. But, you were hardly ever allowed to leave the country and you only ever worked with people that had been vetted. It was as if the UN placed keeping you safe over helping the others. 

This had annoyed you to the point of bringing it up with Steve, demanding to know if had anything to do with it. He promised he hadn’t but guessed it was his fault, muttering about how the governments of the world were always trying to make sure he didn’t join Bucky’s side. You guessed they thought your death would be a prompt for side switching. 

But, today was a rare day where you actually got to go to work and do the things other colleagues did. There were camps set up all around America for refugees to stay in before they got their permanent residents. The ID card was slipped around your neck and the door was opened for you. You were supposed to interview some families and see where they could be placed if they could be.

There was a guard trailing you, unlike the others, and you weren’t going to lie, it made you uncomfortable. A little girl no older than 3 tugged on your leg and showed you a picture she had drawn of Steve in full uniform standing in front of a school, “Cap, Cap,” she repeated. 

“Wow, this is so good,” you smiled leaning down to get a better look. “It’s Cap.”

“You love Cap,” She stated. 

Smiling, you knelt down beside her to look at the picture in her hands. It was very well done for someone so small. “I do.”

She placed it in your hands, “for Cap.”

“You want me to give it to him?” You asked.

The little girl nodded, “gift.”

“Sorry,” an older lady in a hijab said. “He was part of the team that saved us from a bombing back home. “Saya and most of her classmates, my students, lost their families that day. The school was the only part of the town that survived.”

“I’m so sorry, I can give it to him if that’s what she wants.” 

They spoke Arabic for a moment, Saya nodding quickly at her teacher. “She’d like that,” the older lady said. Saya smiled and handed you the picture which you tucked into your pocket for safe keeping with your own smile. Steve loved getting pictures and letters from people he’s helped, even if he tried to deny it. 

You continued on through the camp to the interview rooms. These camps were meant to be nice places, and the people that ran them did try but it was hard with so many people needing shelter. Spaces that were meant for recreation became covered in bunk beds almost as soon as the doors opened, children sleeping three to a bed with couple cuddled on singles. It was hard to get them out as more just kept coming.

The interview room was meant for one interview had a time but there had been shifts, you had to share now. The other rooms were being used as makeshift daycares. The family in front of you was a father and six children - three biological and three adopted from England. 

“Good morning,” you greeted sitting in front of them. “My name’s Y/N and I’m here for the interview.”

“Hello, I’m Oliver.”

“This shouldn’t take too long,” you smiled softly and started the questions. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the story has started...
> 
> Let me know what you think of it!!


	3. Chapter 3

When you walked out of the camp it was already dark, Steve would be waiting for you in your apartment with dinner cooking and probably some music playing. He always played music from the 1940’s when he was alone, music that was over a hundred years old now. You waved to the guard and got into your own car. It was an hour drive to your apartment so you decided to call Steve to talk to him as you drove. 

Oliver and his family would be relocated to New Zealand, a New-House house had come up in Wanaka and he was able to go there, the second family you’d interviewed wouldn’t be so lucky. Trying to find a house for seven had been impossible, finding one for eleven would be a miracle.

The phone clicked and Steve’s voice filled the car, “hey, babydoll.”

“Hey, Stevie. I’m on my way home now.”

“Awesome, I just started dinner. Maria dropped some more information off a few hours ago, not much but an old safe-house was raided and all his stuff has been given to us.”

“What is it?” You asked turning onto a dirt road. It hadn’t always been dirt, that was new.

“A few pictures, a journal and that book you lost.”

“The book I lost?”

“Yeah, he wrote ‘sorry’ on the first page.”

“He stole my book?” You asked in disbelief. That wasn’t something you thought you would hear tonight. The book was one of your favourites and you had been so disappointed when you lost it. “Why?”

You could picture Steve shrugging on the side. “How was work?”

“Uh, it was fine. I got a family relocated and they’ve approved a new building at Camp Rogers.”

“I hate it’s named after me.”

“I know you do. But, it’s getting a new building which hopefully means we can move some people from Camp Carter. Which I-” you paused, frowning out the window. There were no cars on the road but there was a roadblock coming up. Blue and Red lights flashing only a few hundred meters away. 

“Y/N?”   
There had never been a roadblock here before, the situation made you anxious. Something wasn’t right. “Sorry,” you muttered. “There’s a roadblock.”

“Where?”

“Fleet Street.”

“Fleet Street?” Steve asked and you hummed in response, slowing your car down as you approached it. “Babydoll, I don’t know if that’s right,” he was typing something you could hear it over the phone. There wasn’t much you could do apart from stop when the police officer flagged you down. 

He motioned for you to roll the window down, which you did. Nothing looked too suspicious, aside from the location. “Good evening,” he said. His voice was deep and he didn’t make eye contact with you. “Just a routine stop to check for alcohol. Can you please just blow into this.”

A breathalyzer was placed on your lips and almost instantly it was weird. The police officer all put shoved it into your mouth and held it tightly against your lips. You breathed out anyway. Your mind started feeling fuzzy like someone had filled it with tacks. You were struggling to keep your eyes open when you heard Steve’s voice again, it sounded muffled like it was far away and you couldn’t hear what he was saying but he sounded worried and scared. 

The police officer placed his hand on your temple, holding your head as you fell in and out of consciousness. You were vaguely aware of the car door being opened and someone touching your waist but then it all went dark and you were swept into unconsciousness. 

~~

You came to some time later. Sunlight was shining on your face so you assumed it was mid-morning the next day, and you were sitting in a comfortable armchair secured by a handcuff on one wrist. You pulled at it but the only thing that happened was the arm of the chair groaned and you bruised your wrist. The room you were in was bare aside from a cabinet, your chair and a chair opposite you, but it wasn’t a cell. There were huge windows on one wall, the one opposite you, which showcased a ruined town. At least you were still in America. You didn’t know where you were or why but you did know who. The door opened behind you and footsteps echoed around the room. 

“God damn it James, what’s wrong with you?” You instantly started speaking the moment he sat down. It was either that or start crying. It had been over five years since you had seen him in person, aside from longer hair and a meaner stare he was exactly the same. “Really, kidnapping? I didn’t realise you had sunk so low.” 

“What? You’re not going to beg for your life?” That smirk, it had always been your downfall, you stared into his eyes and tried to ignore his lips. 

“No.”

“Shame, I would have liked seeing that.”

“You’re not going to hurt me.”

“So sure of yourself.”

Shrugging as best you could you glared at the man in front of you. God, you had loved him with all your heart. He had been your everything along with Steve, the three of you as thick as thieves. “You’ve had plenty of chances to kill me. Besides, I know you.”

“You know Bucky.”

“Yes…” you replied slowly. “Which is… you.”   


He rolled his eyes at your response, “no. Bucky died in the war, along with the other billions of innocents people. I’m not the man you used to know. I-”

“Is your favourite food still hot dogs?” You interrupted. With a look of pure confusion and shook he nodded. “Good, so you’re still Bucky. Can I go home now? Steve’s going to be worrying.”

“I forgot how annoying you are.”

“I’m not annoying, you kidnapped me! That makes you more annoying.” 

“You’re not going home until Steve comes and gets you. Jesus, that’s all I need you for.”

“Did you delete our numbers or something? You didn’t need to kidnap me.”

Standing up from his chair he walked over to the cabinet, scanned his fingerprint, and opened it. “Would you like something to drink?” He asked. “We managed to round up some apple juice, I haven’t seen it on shelves since-” he paused, thinking, “-I guess before the war.”

“Why do you want to talk to Stevie? And yeah, I’ll take some, thanks.”

“He’s getting close to finding something out that I don’t want to be figured out just yet. I was going to give him some information,” he pulled his chair closer to yours, sat down, and held out your glass. 

“If you don’t want him finding it out why give him some information?”

He shook his head, “I have information about some other people. Stuff SHIELD would never allow him to read so I’m about to hand it to him.”

“How kind,” you said. You took a sip of the drink and nearly moaned. Juice was in such short supply and it was lovely to drink some again.  

“Not really, I just want him off my tail.”

“He can do two things.”

“I know, but the information I have is much more pressing. He’ll focus on that.”

You pursed your lips. Your head was reeling just from looking at Bucky, he meant so much to you even now. Not having to come so close to him had allowed you to live in denial for all these years but now you couldn’t do that. He was right there in front of you, giving you apple juice of all things. Plus the idea that he was going to help Steve, or at least semi-help him was even more confusing. 

“How do you know?” You asked finally. “That he’ll focus on that.”

“SHIELD is corrupt.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh, shit- wait, what? No.”

“Yes, I’ve worked with them a few times. Steve will focus on that, won’t he?”

Looking down at your glass you stayed silent. SHIELD had been the good guys, they were designed to fight people like Bucky after the war, not work with them. If Steve worked with them then did that mean he was apart of it? No, you stopped yourself, Steve would never work with people he thought were bad. Plus, he obviously didn’t know about it if Bucky was going to give him the info.  After a long time of silence, you spoke up. “You stole my book.”

“I borrowed it. A great read, I had it returned to you.”

“Steve just got it today. Why’d you take it?”

“You always let me borrow your books, remember?” There was a bang on the door and it opened. A man in an old military uniform came around and whispered something in Bucky’s ear, who sighed and nodded. He stood up and took your - now empty- glass. The man left while Bucky went back to the cabinet, and refilled it. “Does Steve still listen to that awful 40’s crap?” You nodded in reply. After a click that kind of music started playing, “it’s awful but he got me hooked when we were kids,” he handed you the glass. “I’ll see you later, doll.”

~~

_ “Doll!” Bucky said running into your room. He knocked over your textbook, muttering an apology and placing it back on the stack.  _

_ “What? I’m trying to read.” _

_ Bucky flopped down onto your bed, his own book his hand. Well, it was your book that he had taken from your room a few days ago. “Stevie’s on his way now and he’s got another record to play.” _

_ “Oh good,” you muttered. “His music is the worst!” _

_ The two of you started laughing, Steve loved listening to music that was made from before the war. He also loved vintage technology, not vintage like iPods or, hell even Walkmans. No, Steve liked records and record players from the world wars. The world was on the brink of another war - you didn’t need a reminder of what it was like during one. But Steve had insisted and now you and Bucky both had a record player in your room in case Steve was at your house when he wanted to play music.  _

_ Your door was opened and Steve stepped in waving a record in his hands. “Hey, guys.” _

_ “Hi Stevie,” you replied. Bucky grunted in greeting not looking up from his book.  _

_ He made his way over to the record player on your desk and placed the record on it, turning it on before moving over to the bed. His music danced through the room, soft melodies setting the calm mood. You moved slightly, adjusting so he could slip behind you while Bucky moved his head onto your lap. “What are you reading?” He asked.  _

_ “The Hunger Games.” _

_ “You criticise my music for being old but you read that?”  _

_ “It’s not that old!” _ _   
_

_ “It’s not new.” _

_ You rolled your eyes and continued reading. He rested his head on your shoulder and read along with you, groaning when you flipped the page over too quickly. The three of you stayed curled up on your bed until the sun was setting and your mother called you down for dinner. These days were your favourites, just staying cuddled into each other with no worries. They didn’t happen as commonly now that you were in middle school so when they did they were even more precious.  _

_ ~~ _

The glass in your hand had long gone warm but it was still amazing. Juice of any kind was a luxury now, you couldn’t help but appreciate the drink. 

Bucky had left about an hour ago, after a few minutes someone had come in and handed you a book. Again, it was one of yours that he had taken from the apartment. The fact that he could come and go so easily kind of freaked you out, not in the sense that he had been in your house. But, you had the best security systems in the world and if he could get past those, what else could he do? 

But, the book was a good one and the chair wasn’t too uncomfortable. The handcuffs were the fluffy kind - the kinky kind your mind supplied - and the juice was good so you were content waiting. You guessed other people would be scared in this situation but you honestly didn’t think Bucky would ever actually hurt you. He punched Steve but he never did any damage that was long lasting or that would really hurt the super soldier. Just like when you were kids. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Bucky said walking back into the room. “Steve’s taking a long time to figure out where the safe house is. When he’s gotten the stuff I’ll send you home.”

“Why don’t you just tell him where it is?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” He asked leaning against the wall to your left. 

“This is just a game to you?”

“Basically.”   


“Even though people die, and get hurt, because of you. That’s not a game, Buck.”

He pushed himself off the wall and stood in front of you, bending down so you were face-to-face. His eyes were full of emotion yet his face remained stoic if you didn’t know how to read him you’d assume he wasn’t feeling a thing. But you did know him, you knew him well, and he was hurting. “People got hurt during the war, people died during the war, and we got hailed as heroes when we were the ones out there, we were the ones hurting and killing people. Tell me, how’s that for a game?”

“That was during a war, Buck, and how many people did you help?”

“Less than I’ve helped since turning my back on SHIELD.”

Ignoring the odd comment about helping people you said, “SHIELD wasn’t the only thing you turned your back on that day.”

With a sigh, he nodded. “I know, and I wish you had come with me.”

“Why couldn’t you have stayed?”

“Because SHIELD isn’t the good guy and it never was, doll. I could see that from the start, Steve put too much faith in the system and only saw the good in SHIELD.”

“So you left, and you left us.”

He sent you a smile that was so small it was barely there. “My door’s always open.”

“Steve would never switch sides.”

“And you?”

You paused. You’d always just assumed Bucky was wrong, and so you had stayed with Steve because if Bucky was wrong Steve was right. But, if Bucky wasn’t as wrong as you thought if both sides had flaws and perks, could you decide between the two of them? No, you knew you couldn’t. You loved them both the same, even after all this time. Bucky still held your heart in his hands.  Seeing him in front of you, close enough to touch, brought all those feeling right to the surface all over again. Your heart was both overjoyed at being with him and broken at the thought of having to leave him again. 

“I thought so,” Bucky said and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You honestly felt like you were about to fall out of the chair when his lips pressed against your skin. It had been so long since you had been with him, so long since you were able to cuddle up and leave the world for a few sweet minutes. 

Shaking your head you tried to clear your mind - he was the bad guy for heaven's sake - but you couldn’t. Love didn’t care for sides. Love only cared for love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Bucky's here now...
> 
> :)


	4. Chapter 4

Sirens rang out and Bucky sighed. “Your knight in shining armour is here.”

“I thought you were sending him somewhere else?”

“I was. He’s smarter than people give him credit for.”

“No, we just know you better than you think.”

He shrugged and stood from the chair. He pressed a button on the wall and the entire window opened. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again,” he said looking back at you, “I know where you live.”

“You could just come back with me. With us.”

A car pulled up outside the window, a man in black manning a machine gun on the roof and another driving. Bucky looked from it to you and smiled, “I’ve got work to do, Doll. Tell Stevie I said hi,” he stepped through the window and into the open door of the car. With a small salute from him to you the car speed away. 

A minute later you could hear a jet landing and a team of guys in SHIELD gear arrived through the window with Steve right behind them in full tactical gear. 

Your mind instantly went to the information Bucky was trying to give Steve, either he had been lying or Steve didn’t get it. No way would Steve work with SHIELD if Bucky was right. Even if it was conclusive you couldn’t believe Steve would work with them if he had the information and you didn’t know why Bucky would lie to you about what he wanted Steve to know - surely he knew Steve would tell you.

“Hey,” he said stalking over to you. “Are you okay?” He asked, ripping the cuff from the chair’s arm and helping you stand. 

“Did you go to the location he sent you?” You whispered, looking uneasily at the man by the window. 

“No, we knew you were here.”

“Did you tell anyone?”

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Steve sounded worried about you. You looked at the SHIELD agents around you. Steve looked as well, confusion and worry on his face. “Y/N?”   
  
You shook your head subtly. You could bring your concerns up later when you were alone and free of prying eyes. Steve nodded, concern still present in his eyes, and the two of you made your way to the jet outside.

The town was one that had been bombed with a normal bomb. Ruined buildings sat in straight lines with rubble littering the streets. You could picture what it was like before the war, cafes and little market-styled shops running down the main road with apartments above them and people happily spending their time with family. But it was no longer like that, it was no longer like that, however, it was completely abandoned now. Empty and cold.

Only a few steps from the window was the car. It was a SHIELD jet, fully bulletproof and painted jet black. Steve opened the door for you and helped you step in and then sat with you in the back, his arm around your shoulders and you pressed into his side.

“Are you okay? You were just kidnapped,” Steve said after some silence.

“I’m fine,” you held up the book in your hand, “he gave me my book back, I didn’t even know I had lost it. Oh, he gave me some apple juice and he says hi. See, I told you that he wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Just because he didn’t hurt you this time doesn’t mean he won’t later. You’re not coming with me.”

“Steve!”

He sighed and shook his head. It was a conversation you had many times and you knew it annoyed him but it was important and you knew you needed to bring it up. He didn’t like the idea of you getting hurt on his watch, which was sweet, but you really wanted to help. Help him and help Bucky. He rested his cheek on the top of your head, “I love you, you know that right? And I’m sorry you got caught in this battle tonight.”

“I love you too. And I’m not, because I got to talk to Bucky. Steve, if I could just-”

“No.”

“Talk to him again, I could help.”

“How many times have we had this conversation?” Steve asked. “The answer is the same every single time. He could hurt you, easily, and I don’t trust him-”

Gasping, you cut him off. “You’re lying. I can-”

“We’ll talk about it at home,” he interrupted, his voice quieter than normal. You nodded, his head moving with yours. He was definitely lying, you could read him as well as yourself, you had known him since you were children, of course, you could read him and right now he was lying. Which didn’t make any sense, seeing as he had no reason to trust Bucky because he was Steve’s antagonist. 

But you stayed silent on the subject even though there were a thousand questions running around your head. You trusted Steve more than anybody and if he said to wait then you would wait. Even if it killed you a little not to know. 

“Where are we?” You asked after a few minutes of flying over ruined towns.

“Utah.”

“How long was I gone?”

“Three days.”

“Three days!?” 

He nodded and looked at you with worry filled eyes. You slumped forward slightly, feeling something move in your jacket pocket. You gasped slightly and pulled out Saya’s picture, you had almost forgotten about it. Holding it out for Steve you said, “a little girl, Saya, wanted you to have this. You rescued her from her old country.”

“Thank you,” Steve said taking it. He stared at it for a moment before folding it carefully and placing it in his pocket. He stared straight ahead with a neutral face, but he was clearly thinking hard about something he didn’t want to think. You nudged his shoulder and looked up at him in confusion. He sighed, “sometimes I don’t like how the world sees me.”

“As a hero?”

Surprising you, Steve nodded. Your mind went back to the conversation with Bucky, what the war had made them do. Perhaps that was what Steve meant. You gripped his hand and rubbed your thumb across his palm, causing him to smile down at you. 

Only a few minutes later and you were landing in Brooklyn. They wanted Steve to go with them to report but he refused, saying he needed to take you home first. The men looked annoyed at the response but stayed silent, dropping the jet beside your apartment. 

~~

_ “Do you like getting punched?” _

_ “I had him on the ropes.” _

_ You poked at Steve’s swelling cheek, it had already turned blue from the hit. “Sure,” you rolled your eyes, his hands swatting at yours. “So why were you fighting this one?” _

_ Steve looked down, then to Bucky and then to you. “He was talking crap.” _

_ “About?” Bucky asked. _

_ “Us.” _

_ The three of you were silent for a moment, you knew Bucky wanted to go and fight the man himself and you doubted you would stop him if he did. You rested your hand gently on Steve’s swollen cheek, “fighting them isn’t going to do anything.” _

_ “Makes you feel better,” Bucky muttered.  _

_ “Come on, let’s go home,” you said. Bucky wrapped his arms around you and Steve, staring you out of the dark alley and back onto the street. People were dashing all over the place, not paying an ounce of attention to the three teens coming out of the alley. Bucky let go of your shoulders and took your hands instead.  _

_ “You’re going to have a bruise when we start school,” Bucky said. “New school, same old Stevie.” _

_ “You can borrow some of my makeup.” _

_ “I’m not wearing makeup to school.” _

_ Bucky rolled his eyes, “you need to. You can’t take your ID picture looking like this.” _

_ “Jee, thanks.” _

_ With a laugh, Bucky kissed Steve’s cheek. A man walking past sneered at the three of you, Bucky pulled you both closer to his side and speed up walking. He was always one to walk away, Steve was the one that could pick a fight with anyone. The man stopped walking and had started throwing insults at you, drawing the attention of other people on the street. You clutched at Bucky’s hand tighter. Steve wanted to go and give the man a piece of his mind but Bucky continued to pull you both away.  _

_ After what seemed like forever you were back at Steve’s apartment. The man was long gone but you were still shaken up. Most days were fine, people didn’t care enough to say anything about your relationship. But some people were just angry, and they would stop and yell or try and fight Steve or Bucky, or they would try and physically pull you away from them. Some of them were homophobic (still, which was just stupid) and it was the fact that it was two boys together that made them angry, and others didn’t like that there were three of you. _

_ “You alright?” You asked when you were all laying on Steve’s bed. You had been pulled in between the two of them, cuddled into their sides. _

_ “Fine,” Bucky said. “He’s just an asshole, who cares?” _

_ Kissing your cheek, Steve asked, “you?” _

_ “Bucky’s right, he’s just an asshole.” _

_ “I love you, doll,” Bucky said. “And I love you, Stevie, even if you are a punk.” _

_ “Love you to Buck,” you said with a smile. “And I love Stevie as well, even if he’s going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” _

_ Steve rolled his eyes, “I love the both of ya’ too.” _

_ “Till the end of the line,” Bucky muttered to the both of you. You smiled, you couldn’t imagine your life without these guys by your side.  _

_ ~~ _

You were putting your book back in your bookcase while Steve got changed. You were still staring at your books when he came back in. You were completely lost in thought, going over every single thing Bucky had said to you while you had been with him. Steve walked over to you, wearing a blue button up and jeans, he wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned his head on your shoulder and kissed your temple. 

“Are you okay?”

“Bucky said some things about-”

“SHIELD being corrupted?”

“You knew?” You asked in shock, twisting in his arms to face him. You couldn’t imagine Steve working for something that was corrupted.

He shook his head and rewrapped his arms around your waist only this time you were facing him. “No. Nat just text me, I sent her to get the files left by Bucky and she just sent them over. She didn’t know either.”

“Do you believe him?”

“I can’t see why he would lie. Do you?”

“Couldn’t he be trying to get into your head or something?”

“He could,” Steve nodded. “But, I don’t know, I just don’t think so. Nat’s bringing over the files now, I’ll go over them with her and Clint before we decide on anything. We’ll figure it out.”

With a kiss to your forehead, he pulled away from you and walked to the kitchen, “do you want anything?” He asked. 

“Did you eat the pizza in the fridge?”

“No,” Steve shook his head. 

“I’ll have that.”

He nodded and got it out, plating it up for you and sliding it over the kitchen counter. He made a pot of coffee and got out three mugs, making his own he left the others empty. The two of you sat quietly side by side, holding hands on the kitchen bench, waiting for Nat and Clint. After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door and Steve got up to let them in. 

Nat smiled at you when she walked in, “how are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Steve was worried sick,” Clint informed you walking in after Nat with a box in his hand. “He kept fretting and annoying us. And thanks Nat, for all the help carrying this shit up.”

She rolled her eyes, as did Steve, “you’re welcome, Clint. I thought you would want a chance to impress me.”

“I don’t need to,” he said putting the box down beside you. “We’re already dating.”

“Honestly,” Nat scoffed. Steve walked behind you and wrapped his arm around your waist, resting his chin on your head. Nat pointed at the two of you, “see, look at them. That’s what I want.”

“Well, it’s not what you’re getting. Help me sort through the files for Rogers.”

Again, she rolled her eyes but did move to help him. They pulled out files and lay them out all over the bench, your pizza had been taken by Clint at this point before they stepped back. “Basically,” Nat said. “James left all the documents SHIELD sent him and copies of the ones he sent back. Everything looks legit, all signed off by high ranking SHIELD officials and by James himself.”

Steve pursed his lips. “Okay, say they are legit, why would he want us to know?”

“Oh, he said you were close to finding something else out. He didn’t want you finding that out so he sent you this. He said he knew you would deal with this and not him.”

“I can focus on two things.”

“That’s what I said. He said you’d focus on this.”

Clint laughed, “he’s right. He knows you well.”

“Of course he does,” Nat said. “They grew up together.”

“You know I don’t always remember that.”

“A lot of people don’t,” Steve said. “But he is right. This is big and needs to be dealt with now. If SHIELD is corrupt it needs to go.”

Nat shook her head, “or just the people. The entire thing doesn’t need to go.”

“Corruption is like a Hydra. Cut one head off, two more grow. We can’t risk it. All of it goes.”

“I don’t like it,” she admitted. “But I get it. Where do we start, Captain?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story... I don't know. 
> 
> Honestly, I don't know if I like it or not???? What do you guys think of it?


	5. Chapter 5

Bucky was sitting in his chair, his computer screen was playing the live footage of your apartment. The camera had been placed in the apartment just after you had moved in. He hated this, watching you guys like some freak, but he needed to know what was happening. Nat had gotten the files and Steve had believed him. He wasn’t lying, everything in there was the truth but he had been worried Steve would think he was lying.

He liked to pretend that the camera was there for business reasons, but that was a bold face lie and he knew it. The camera wasn’t great, it was hard to find good equipment after the war, so the image looked grainy and the audio was terrible. But it was his only portal into your’s and Steve’s life so he was happy to take it.

Steve was reading over the files, you were reading them as well although you looked a lot more bored compared to the others. Nat asked how they would start and Steve sighed, “go public with the info.”

“Risky,” Nat said and Bucky could help but agree. But Steve would do it, he was an all or nothing kind of guy. 

“I know,” Steve said as you yawned. “But it’s the best course of action. Gives us a bigger safety net and more time to figure out what’s happening without them knowing.”

“We know what’s happening,” Clint said. “We need to stop working for them now and get out.”

“No,” Steve shook his head. “We need to get more information. This stuff is bad and useful, but we need more.”

Clint looked put out but nodded. Bucky tilted his head to the side, straining to see better through the image. Recruiting Barton could be easy enough, that would be an advantage for Bucky, especially if Nat came along. 

He looked down at you as you yawned again before putting the file down. “We can talk more tomorrow,” he said. It looked like Clint and Nat wanted to argue with him, but you yawned again and they nodded. The files were left were they were on the bench and the two of them left you and Steve alone in the apartment. He pulled you back against his chest and kissed your temple. “Bed?”   
“Don’t you have work to do?” You asked.

“Yeah, but I need to make sure my best girl is okay.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “I’m fine.”

“You were kidnapped today, you’re not okay.”

“I was kidnapped by Bucky-” Bucky grinned at the screen, he loved that you weren’t afraid of him “-I was happy to see him.”

Steve sighed, “fine. I’m glad you got to talk to him.”

“Yeah, and if I-”

“Not now, babydoll,” Steve interrupted. You pouted, something Bucky found utterly adorable, and nodded. 

The door to Bucky’s office was opened and Sam stepped in. “Hey, boss.”

“Sam. What’s up?”

Bucky’s and Sam’s relationship was different than others. Most people who worked for him were at least a little afraid of him, or they pretended they were. That worked for Bucky, it meant fewer problems to deal with. Sam, on the other hand, had no fear when it came to Bucky and made that known whenever he could. From coming in unannounced or talking back where others wouldn’t.

About two years after Bucky left, three years ago now, Sam followed. He had been a member of SHIELD, he even fought beside Steve but then his best friend had been killed and he had lost faith. That was the story from the majority of people in his command. The government had let them down somehow and they wanted their revenge. Or they just wanted a secure job from a man that didn’t lie.

“Stark just got back to me,” Sam said sitting in the chair opposite Bucky. 

“What did he say?”

“He wants us to double the payment.”

“Tell him to fuck off.”

Sam nodded, “will do. How was the kidnapping?” Sam asked with a grin. 

“It went well. Steve got the SHIELD files.”

“Do you think it’ll make him switch sides?”

“Maybe, probably not.”

“If I found that out, I would.”

Bucky looked back at the screen, you had been spun around so you were facing Steve, the two of you were laughing. “He has an ironclad will,” Bucky said. “It’s so annoying.”

“So you think he needs more?”

“He’ll join us eventually.”

“You sound confident.”

Looking away from the monitor, Bucky grinned. “I am. Because I know Stevie better than anyone else - besides Y/N - so I know how to make him switch.”

“You’re going to blackmail him.”

“Only a little.”

On the monitor, Steve wrapped his arms around your legs and torso, picking you up from the stool, you squealed in surprise and clung to his neck. Bucky was staring at the screen with longing in his eyes. That was what he wanted, and he had messed that up and he knew that, but he still wanted to be with you and Steve. He would get it back. He had promised himself the day he broke away from SHIELD, he had promised himself that he would have the two of you again one day. No matter what.

“Do you think he’ll appreciate being blackmailed?” 

“I think he doesn’t like working for SHIELD, and I think Y/N is sick of the world slandering me. I think they’ll switch.”

“Who first?”

“If I can get Y/N on my side, Steve will follow.”

Sam nodded, “so do we start now?” 

“Don’t see why not. A seed of doubt has been planted already so we should continue on.”

“What do you want me to do?”

Bucky looked back at the monitor, the room was empty and the lights had been turned off. He hadn’t placed a camera in your room, he wasn’t that evil, but he was kind of wishing he had. He turned back to Sam, he had a few ideas on how to get you both to switch sides but he had lost faith in himself. He didn’t want to force you into something you didn’t want, either of you. At the same time, he was willing to do anything to get you onto his side. SHIELD was corrupt and would happily work Steve to death or use you against him and he didn’t want you or Steve in that environment.

“Send them some flowers,” Bucky said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, two dozen daisies.”

“Uh, sure, can I know why?”

With a smile, Bucky said “inside joke.”

~~

_ “You look nice,” your mother said when you came into the living room. “What’s the occasion?”  _

_ “We’re just going to the movies,” you said. You lied. “So I thought I’d wear this, I never dress up nicely. You know?” It was a lie. You weren’t just going to the movies at all. It was your first official date with the boys. You had been going out together for years since you were children, but this was an actual date. Like a boyfriend-girlfriend-boyfriend date. The dress you had on had been sitting in your closet for ages and this, you figured, was the best time to wear it for them.  _

_ “Well, have fun.” _

_ The doorbell rang and you waved to her, grabbing your purse and making your way to the door. Steve and Bucky were both standing there, and they had both dressed up for the occasion as well. They were wearing a nice dress shirt and dark wash jeans, Steve’s was slightly ill-fitting but most of his clothes were. Each boy took one of your hand and kissed your cheek.  _

_ “Gosh, babydoll, you look amazing.” _

_ “Thanks, Stevie.” _

_ “Yeah,” Bucky nodded as you started walking. “You look great.” _

_ “You both look good too,” you said. “My boyfriends,” you sighed happily. “I’m so happy I can say that now.” _

_ Bucky nodded, “It’s been a long time coming.” _

_ “Too long,” Steve said. He was right, you had just turned seventeen, you had known them for over ten years now, and your relationship had just become an actual romantic relationship. It was just as shame that you couldn’t share your relationship publicly. You had all agreed that it would be better to keep it private until you were old enough to be treated with a bit of respect. There was no point in trying to bring negative attention to yourselves.  _

_ As you were walking down the street, no longer holding hands, Bucky lent over a gate and picked a daisy off the bush. He broke the stem to the right length and tucked it behind your ear. You smiled at him, your smile turning to laughter as he did the same for Steve. The blonde grumbled for a moment before smiling as well. He reached over and picked another flower and tucked it behind Bucky’s ear.  _

_ “And now we look even better,” you said seriously. “Don’t we?” _

_ “You look great,” Steve said. “I don’t know about Buck.” _

_ “Punk,” Bucky muttered lightly hitting Steve on his shoulder. “I look great.” _

_ The door to the house you were standing outside of opened and an elderly man in a robe came storming out, yelling at you all about his flowers. He had started threatening to call the police when you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. His face turned purple and he started waving his fist in the air like a cartoon.  _

_ Bucky gripped both yours and Steve’s hand before taking off down the road. He was still yelling when you turned the corner and stopped, your’s and the boy’s laughter drowning him out. You reached up to cheek the flower was still in your ear, it was, you smiled at the boys who both had theirs as well.  _

_ “Did that really happen?” Steve asked. “I’m not making it up?” _

_ “It really happened,” Bucky said. _

_ “He was acting crazy!” You laughed.  _

_ “Come on,” Bucky said. “We’re going to miss our movie.” _

_ When you walked home you passed the man’s house again, giggling when Steve reached out and took another flower. The man didn’t come out this time and the flower was tucked into your breast pocket and was then dried so you could keep it. A symbol you got to keep it, as a reminder of your first date. _

~~

You and Steve were heading back to your apartment after a dinner date. Another couple had just stopped you to ask for a photo with Steve, which he had agreed to, and you had continued on your way. He was holding your hand had you were chatting about moving. 

“I like our apartment,” you said. “We’re lucky to have it.”

“But this new one is in a smaller block. It’s nicer as well.”

“Stevie, we don’t need the extra room.”

“If SHIELD goes do down, we’re going to need to find a new place. I don’t think they’re going to want to continue funding our housing,” he pulled you to a stop in front of your building and kissed your forehead. “When this goes public I want you out of the way.”

Frowning, you looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“A lot could happen, I don’t know what but it’ll bad. I don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire. Everything I’ve ever done is going to be placed under a microscope, everything you’ve ever done as well. Life is about to get really shitty for us.”

“So you want me to leave?”

“No, I don’t want you to leave. I want you to be safe and happy.”

“Why wouldn’t I be safe?”

He sighed and walked into the building. “Remember how bad the media got when the war was happening, how they kept trying to get to you? It’s going to be like that but worse, for all the world knows you’ve been working for SHIELD like I have. They’re going to hound you for answers that you don’t have and are going to take every action you make or every word you say for something that’s it not. I don’t want that for you. I think it’ll be better if you’re not here.”

“I’m a big girl Stevie, I can manage,” you said getting into the elevator. You didn’t know if it was true, however, the media had been downright evil during the war. Constantly hounding you for information on the boys. It had been worse for Steve and Bucky, they couldn’t go out without people pushing cameras on them and yelling. It had gotten better since the war but there was the still the occasional instance. “Where would you want me to go?”

“Out of state.”

“They’d be able to find me there.”

“Not if you were in a safe house. Please just think about it.”

You nodded. A part of you want to stay just for the principle of it but another did want to leave. You didn’t want to be in the city when it all went done. But, you didn’t want to leave Steve alone either. He was going to be getting the worst of it. You would think about, but right now you just wanted to go and cuddle with Steve.

Steve pushed open the door to your apartment, both of you stopping short when you saw what was inside. Dozens of daisies sat in glass vases all across your living room. You looked up at Steve who stepped in and grabbed a note from the floor. 

“Sorry for the inconvenience of the kidnapping. I hope you like the flowers. Bucky,” Steve read out loud. “The jerk sent us daisies.”

“I still have the original daisy somewhere. They’re pretty, though,” you said picking one up out of its vase. You pushed the daisy behind Steve’s ear. He looked annoyed but didn’t say anything. You put your own daisy behind your ear, “how many did we steal from the old man?”

“Hundreds,” Steve said. “Every date we went on I’d take one.

“Always the troublemaker.”

He shrugged, “I’m not the one who just sent us more flowers than needed,” he turned to the kitchen and looked up at the wall. “One would have been fine.” 

“Did you just address the camera? I thought we said we wouldn’t.”

“Situational necessary.”

“I knew you weren’t really afraid of him.”

“Never said I was.”

You took his hand, “come on, let’s go to bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to continue with this. 
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


	6. Chapter 6

Bucky was grinning at the screen in front of him. He had assumed Steve had figured out there was a camera in their house. He was a dumbass (at least In Bucky’s eyes) but he wasn't dumb. But still, the idea that you and Steve had a) talked about the camera and b) not done anything about it made him happier than normal. He had stressed over the camera for a long time, wanting to but not knowing if he should or not. He was glad that he had done it now. 

“You’ve been smiling at your computer for a while there, have you finally lost your mind?”

“Shut up,” Bucky snapped at Sam, who just laughed and sat down on the chair opposite Bucky’s desk. “What do you want? I’m busy.”

“Really? I didn’t know staring longingly at a screen counted as being busy,” he placed a brown envelope on his desk. “Everything Stark promised was just delivered. Plus the spare room was set up - although I have  _ no _ idea why - and the Howling Commandos have just arrived, they’re ready when you are.”

“I wanted them to be in California by now. They were meant to be recruiting for me.”

Sam frowned but pulled out his phone and sent the order. “I don’t see why you need to recruit anyone right now. We’ve got plenty of people.”

“Steve’s going to need help taking down SHIELD.”

“So we’re helping him now? He might think you’ve gone soft.”

“An enemy of an enemy is a friend.”

“Alright, I’ll get some groups ready for that. Anything else?”

Bucky shook his head and looked back at the screen. It had gone dark, the lights having been turned off. He turned back to Sam, “not right now. We’re just waiting to see when Steve decided to strike and we help him. He’ll probably wait a few days, he’s a patient man.”

“The men aren’t going to be happy.”

“Tell them there’s an end goal that justifies the means.”

“Is that end goal you getting your sweethearts or us taking down SHIELD?”   
  
“Taking down SHIELD, obviously,” he said picking up his phone and dialing Steve’s number. 

Sam raised his eyebrows and smiled sarcastically, nodding. “Obviously.” 

~~

“Steve it has been three days.”

“I know that.”

“We need to do something soon.”

“Clint, please, just trust me.”

He rolled his eyes. “I do trust you, but I don’t trust this. Why are we waiting so long? The sooner we go public the better.”

You were sitting on Steve’s lap in the living room, his arms around your waist and your head on his shoulder as you scrolled through twitter. It was as dead as you felt. The past two night you hadn’t slept well (you basically didn’t sleep), stressed about the upcoming ‘mission’ that Steve was about to undertake. Nat and Clint were over most days, showing the evidence they had taken and planning with Steve. That’s what they were doing now, the three of them had been discussing how to go about taking down SHIELD. Clint had a much more ballsy approach where Steve and Nat wanted to take their time. Steve’s arms tightened around you as Clint spoke, you kissed where his neck meets his shoulder and smiled up at him. He smiled back it was strained and uncertain. Giving him the benefit of the doubt you guessed he was just stressed. 

Steve’s phone rang interrupting what Nat was about to say, he looked at the screen shielding it from your view before sighing lowly. Kissing your temple and lifted you up, setting you beside him as he stood. You sent a confused look to Nat and Clint as he left the room, they shrugged back. From your bedroom you heard his voice get louder like he was arguing with someone, it was muffled still but you heard your name and then him saying ‘no’. After a few minutes, he came back into the living room with a duffle bag on his hip and a frown on his face.

“Two days ago Bucky called me-” you were about to speak but he held his hand up and continued “-he told me not to tell anyone about it. He promised that he would help us dismantle SHIELD, I didn’t believe him but he said they cause him more problems than they’re worth,” Nat and Clint both went to speak as well but Steve continued.  “He knows a lot more than us.”

“We can’t trust him,” Nat said instantly. 

“He could be helpful.”

Clint scoffed, “like he wouldn’t use this to his own gain.”

“He is. He wants SHIELD gone just as much as we do, that’s why he offered his help.”

“So you’re teaming up with the enemy?” Nat asked. 

“To get rid of something worse. With SHIELD gone he can’t get the supplies and information that he has been getting. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think the pros outweigh the cons.”

Nat and Clint looked at each for a few moments, they spoke silently before sighing. “You have to use your brain here, Steve, promise me you’ll do that,” Nat said. 

“I will.”

“I don’t see why we can’t use his help,” Nat continued. “Okay. What’s the plan.”

“Gear up, he’s already told me how SHIELD is going to react. It’s to going to nice.”

They both stood, nodding, ready to go and get everything they would need. You weren’t stupid, you always knew that SHIELD wouldn’t respond nicely to this but the look on Steve’s face made you think it was going to be a lot worse than planned. 

“Bucky’s going to be here in five minutes,” Steve said. All three of you stared at him silently for a moment before bursting into noise. Confusion and annoyance the main themes. “He’s coming-” he said over the noise, “-to get Y/N.”

“What?” You asked softly. “Why?”

He looked down before making eye contact with you. “He’s taking you to a safe house he owns until this all blows over. I don’t want you to go but it’s the safest option.”

“Is this why you agreed to work with him?” Nat asked. “To get Y/N out of the way?”

“No. He offered to help her before us.”

“Why do I have a hard time believing that?” Clint asked, scoffing again. 

Steve stood straighter and was about to reply when the front door - the locked front door - opened. Bucky stepped in, both Clint and Nat reached for a gun and he held his hands up in surrender. “I’m just here to get Y/N,” he said. “Also, Stevie’s right.”

“Do I not get a say in this?” You asked as Steve handed Bucky the bag without a word. 

“Sure, doll, what do you want to say?” Bucky asked. 

“That I don’t want to go. Especially not with someone who just kidnapped me,” Steve flinched at your words. 

Bucky shouldered the bag and held his hand out for you, which you did not take no matter how much you wanted to. “I know you don’t want to come but it’s the safest option for everyone. Steve isn’t going to be able to cover himself when he’s looking out for you and I really don’t want you or him getting shot.”

“You’ve shot him before.”

“An accident.”

“How do you accidentally shoot someone?” 

“They move where you were about to fire.”

You rolled your eyes. Steve sighed, “I know this sucks but I need you to go with Bucky for me. When this over and when it’s safe I’ll come and get you back. SHIELD isn’t going to let this go lightly.”

When you didn’t move he came over and took your hands in his. He kissed your forehead and you sighed. “Don’t die on me, Stevie.”

“Promise.”

Bucky wrapped his metal arm around your shoulders when you reached him. You didn’t shrug him off. No, in fact, you did the opposite and leaned into his side. It wasn’t a voluntary reaction, more muscle memory than anything else. You were tired and confused. Your life had been going so well and then all this had to happen. Bucky held you tighter against his side and smiled at everyone. “Clint, Nat, I’ll see you guys soon. Stevie, call me when you’re ready. Love you,” and with that, the two of you were out the door. 

He pulled a key out of his pocket and locked the door behind him. “Is that the key I lost?”

“Yeah.”

“Please stop stealing my stuff.”

Laughing, he nodded and pushed you both towards the stairs. There was a car already waiting for you outside your apartment, plus a man with a camera who was being handed a wad of cash. Bucky just shrugged when you brought it up. The two of you slid into the back seat of the car, his arm never really leaving you, just adjusting to make it easier. Sam was in the driver seat, he waved when you got in.

“Hey, Sam.”

“Hey, Y/N. How are you?”

“Peachy.”

When the car started Bucky spoke. “The safe house is a few hours away. You can go to sleep if you want to.”

“I’m fine.”

“You haven’t slept in two nights. Steve told me.”

You placed your head on his shoulder, sure he was the enemy but he was comfortable as hell and he was tracing patterns on your arm that covered you in goosebumps. Within a moment of closing your eyes, you were already drifting off. 

~~

_ “Are you serious?” _

_ “This is a good thing.” _

_ “No, it’s not!” _

_ “Yes, it is. Just listen for a second-” _

_ Bucky sighed from the bed, interrupting Steve, “I’m with Y/N. You can’t just let some scientist experiment on you for the hell of it.” _

_ “It’s the only way I can help.” _

_ “There are plenty of ways you can help,” you disagreed. “You don’t need to risk your life to get into the army.”  _

_ Steve was pacing the bedroom now, walking back and forth as Bucky watched from the bed and you watched from the desk. Steve ran his hand through his hair and let out a long sigh, turning back to you. “It’s not just that, I just - I want to help out. Plus, I won’t be sick after this,” as if to prove his point he started coughing. _

_ Bucky rolled his eyes and pulled Steve so he was sitting on the bed. He wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders and placed his cheek on Steve’s head. “You don’t need to help out Stevie.” _

_ “You know I do. It’s easy for you, you get to just go.” _

_ “But I don’t want to. War isn’t the same as a back alley Steve.” _

_ “I know that!” _

_ “Stevie, it’s so dangerous.” _

_ He caught your eye as you spoke. He looked deadly serious and completely set in what he wanted to do. “Either I die in the experiment or I die in a year from a damn cough. I’d rather have the chance.”  _

_ Sighing, Bucky flopped backward on the bed. “We’re not talking you out of this,” he said and he didn’t need to see Steve shake his head to know the answer. “I guess we have to accept it then?” Steve nodded. “Fine, tomorrow morning we’ll go the recruitment program and sign  _ both _ of us up.” _

_ “What?” Both you and Steve exclaimed. _

_ “I’m not letting Steve do it alone.” _

_ “You just said you can’t let some scientist experiment on you.” _

_ He shrugged, “and if Steve is dead set I’m not letting him go alone.” _

_ “I can’t lose the both of you.” _

_ “Steve’s too stubborn to die,” Bucky argued. “And I’m not leaving you two alone.” _

_ You closed your eyes and pinched your nose. “My god, you’re going to kill me.” _

_ “We’ll come back to you, doll, promise.” _

~~

The bed was really soft and the sunlight was making the stain glass windows absolutely shine. The room you were in was a lot nicer than what was standard now. A fur rug, 4-post double bed and stain glass windows above double french doors. It was amazing. You had woken up in this room, lying on the bed with your duffle beside you, about five minutes ago and since then nothing had happened. You were expecting someone to come in but so far you had been alone. 

After a few more minutes you got up from the bed and made your way to the window. There was a small balcony outside, which you stepped out onto. Cold wind bit at your skin as soon as the doors opened. The view was amazing, huge mountains on either side of a deep snow filled valley below you. Where ever you were was built into the side of one of the mountains and there wasn’t another building in sight. 

“It’s a lovely view,” Bucky said stepping out. “It’s why I built this here.”

“It is an amazing place.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

He stepped beside you and wrapped his arm around you. You wanted to kid yourself into thinking you only cuddled into him because he was warm, but in reality, you just wanted to and couldn’t help yourself. For a few moments, it was almost perfect. The only thing you would change was that Steve should be beside you. It sent a shock through you as you realized that you would rather Steve was here. Steve and Bucky were rivals now and you shouldn’t be thinking that kind of thing. But you did, and you would do it again.  “Steve just released the information gathered. The public is now fully aware that SHIELD not only worked with me but with Hydra back in the war. There’s been an outcry already, people are pissed.”

“Is Steve okay?”

“There was a truck sent to his apartment but some of my men diverted it. He’s fine for now.”

“You’re lying.”

Pressing a kiss to your temple (and no, you didn’t like it - it was just really warm and that’s why you smiled) he sighed. “I don’t want you to worry but they sent more than one car. One got to the apartment. Steve, Clint and Nat fought them and are on their way to DC now.”

“Why DC?”

“The SHIELD headquarters are there. That’s why they’re going to attack.”

After a long period of calm silence, you spoke. “Doesn’t it feel good to be a hero again? You and Steve working together to bring down the bad guys?”

“It feels good to work with Steve. Now, doesn’t it feel good to have all this space, not having to worry about neighbors and city life?”

“Not as good as being with Steve.”

“What if Steve was here?” 

“What if you were with us?”

He chuckled lowly, “I could be if you joined me.”

“Or you could join us.”

“In what? SHIELD is about to be gone, Steve’s going to work for who exactly?”

“The UN? He’ll figure it out.”

“I’m not as bad as you think I am.” 

You watched as a bird flew into a tree beside you. Seeing in animals in the city was a rare occurrence now. After the first bombs were dropped on cities most of the animals had left to go back to the wilderness. The bird started chirping and you smiled, that was a sound you hadn’t heard for years. Bucky kissed your temple again as you watched the bird. You wanted this to be your life, birds chirping as Bucky kissed and held you on a balcony overlooking snow-capped mountains. Then the bird flew away, as did your dreams.

“How are you not as bad? You keep trying to kill people.”

“So does Steve.”

“Only bad people.”

“He never tried to kill me.”

“He never saw you as bad.”

Bucky clicked his tongue, “I’m definitely the villain here, doll. But I’m not evil or anything, I just can’t fight for something I don’t believe in. Which was SHIELD and everything it ever stood for. Leaving was the hardest thing I’d ever done but I had to do it and I don’t regret it. I just regret I didn’t take you and Steve with me.”

“We won’t switch sides.”

“Steve is currently being hunted by the people you thought were good. Why wouldn’t you switch sides?” He asked softly. “Why continue this charade of rightnesses when we could have everything.”

“At the most selfish of costs.”

“Not everything I do is bad. I help people, more than Steve.”

You were silent. That was the second time he had said that to you. That he helped people more than Steve ever did. Which didn’t make any sense, how could he help people? He smiled down at you and pulled you to the side of the balcony, pointing down. It was a fair bit down but you could make out what it was. There were a whole lot of portable houses lining the bottom of the mountain you were on. There were people walking around as well, lights lining makeshift streets and a few cars here and there. 

“Those are all people I helped that were rejected by your job.”

“We can’t take everyone,” you muttered.

“I know, but I can. So yeah, I want to continue taking over everything because the people in charge now are messing the world up so badly that we’re not going to last,” he sighed and pulled you back inside. You went easily, not fighting back at all. Your mind was a million miles away as he walked you out of the room and down the hallway.

Bucky had always been such a good guy, you had been stupid to think he would completely change who he was. Helping the little guy - literally - was something Bucky did. And suddenly everything became a lot harder. Yeah, you kind of agreed with him, the world wasn’t getting better. It was a standstill, homelessness and depression rates were through the roof. Everyone had lost someone in the war and the world was still trying desperately to repair itself. It wasn’t going so well.

But, you couldn’t side with Bucky. Having one person in power never worked, no matter how good the intentions may be. You couldn’t say with one hundred percent certainty that Bucky would go power-crazy on the world (you doubted it but whatever). Hell, you couldn’t even say Steve wouldn’t become an evil dictator if he was given that power. Bucky’s plan would never work, you had to believe that. The world needed help, sure, but not like this. 

Even so, a tiny, selfish, voice in your head wanted to agree with Bucky. Wanted Steve to agree with Bucky. Wanted to be together again no matter what the cost. You silenced the tiny voice in your head. You couldn’t - you wouldn’t - think like that. Even if you wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there are only 1 chapter left...


	7. Chapter 7

“It’s not going to work.”

“Bucky, I swear to god, shut up.” 

“I don’t want to die because you’re unnaturally stubborn.”

“You’re not going to die.”

“Oh? Are you going to protect me?” Bucky asked batting his eyelashes. 

Steve rolled his eyes, “no. Y/N would kill me if you died,” he squinted through the binoculars again. They were lying on a roof in New York, watching and waiting for a SHIELD executive to come out of the building. They wanted as many out of the way now that they had released the information. It would hopefully be enough to make this as easy as possible and stop them running out of the country.

“I’m glad she still cares about me.”

“She wants you to switch sides again.”

He laughed, “and join SHIELD?”

“That makes it a bit more complicated. I’ll admit that.” 

“When will you admit that I’m right?” Bucky asked, turning his head to look at Steve and raising his eyebrow. “You’re so stubborn it’s ridiculous. Always have been through, so I guess I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Why would I switch sides? I’ve got everyone on my side.”

Bucky shrugged and turned back to the building. “Sam’s on my side, by the end of the end of the night Nat and Clint will be. Fury and Maria will both switch once this all goes down and maybe Coulson. Everyone will work for me, aside from you.”

“And Y/N.” 

“She’s sitting there wondering who she should be loyal to right now.”   


“No, she’s not.”

“So stubborn.”

Steve glared through the binoculars, ignoring Bucky when he chuckled and bumped their shoulders. He wanted this to be over so he could take you and go. He wanted to go on a holiday of somesorts while this all blew over, he knew you wanted to a beach-side resort. You had been begging for him to take some time off, and this was the perfect opportunity for it. Steve couldn’t stomach the thought that Bucky had gotten into your head, he didn’t want to think of what would happen if you did switch sides and join Bucky over him. 

From the inside of the building there was movement, he was leaving. Steve readjusted his grip on the binoculars and watched as the doors were opened. Bucky had a gun beside him, loaded with tranquilizers that would keep the man asleep until the police could get to him. As soon as the man stepped out the gun went off and he fell onto the marble steps, Steve wasn’t surprised. Bucky was always the better shot out of the two of them. Steve’s eyes narrowed as he watched blood seeping out around the body on the floor, it took a moment to realize what had happened - shook and denial clouding his judgement - but when he did he turned back to Bucky and was about to start yelling when Bucky spoke first. “Don’t be mad.”

“You killed him!”

“He’s killed hundreds more,” Bucky shot back instantly. “Did you honestly think that he would be sentenced? If you want something done you do it yourself.”

“We don’t get to decide who dies.”

Gesturing vaguely at the man, Bucky shrugged, “too late.”

“I can’t believe you,” Steve said as his phone rang. “Just as I thought I could trust you.” 

Nat’s message was up on the screen, it was had been extremely successful. SHIELD was falling apart, Hydra running out of the county. There was outrage across the world as people found out what SHIELD had done in the previous years. Helping Bucky, falsifying reports from the war, declining housing and help for no reason, and worst of all, helping Hydra and housing the organisation since the war. People were calling for something to be done, not batting an eyelid at the idea of Steve working with Bucky again. It helped that everyone had lost someone in the war because of Hydra (and SHIELD). Almost no one was on Hydra’s side anymore. Hydra’s or SHIELD’s. 

Bucky sighed and reached into his pocket. Before he could react, Bucky stabbed a needle into Steve’s neck. “Shouldn’t trust me, Stevie, I’d hate to disappoint.”

“What is this?” Steve asked slowly.

Running his hand over Steve’s face, Bucky smiled. “Just relax, it’ll be okay.”

“Buck,” Steve said quietly. 

“It’s a sleeping aid designed for us. I use it all the time. You’ll wake up in a few hours, back at my place with Y/N and me.”

“Buck,” Steve repeated, his eyes dropping down and his voice slurring.

Still running his hand over Steve’s cheek Bucky asked, “can you go to sleep for me Stevie?”

“No,” his voice was so quiet now. 

“Yes you can, come on,” Bucky watched as his eyes closed. His breathing was still to fast, he was awake. “You’re such a fighter,” Bucky muttered. “Be good for me and go to sleep. It’ll be all better when you wake up.”

His breathing evened out, Bucky smiling as he watched Steve fall asleep. He pulled out his phone and messaged Sam to being the helicopter to his location. Sam didn’t respond but within a few minutes the helicopter the appeared over the horizon, flying over the buildings to them. Bucky slung the gun over his back and picked Steve up bridal style. Sam raised his eyebrows as he strapped the sleeping man into a seat, Bucky just ignored him. He had promised himself that he was going to get Steve and you back - and he just did.

~~

_ You smiled at the sleeping Steve in your bed. He looked so peaceful - pale and sickly - but peaceful. He and Bucky had arrived at your house, soaking wet and laughing, only an hour ago. Warm blankets and soup had been provided but it hadn’t stopped Steve getting sick. He had tried to act okay, act like you could still go to the arcade, but he had coughed halfway through his speech and hadn’t stopped yet. Bucky and yourself and lay him down and forced him to go to sleep.  _

_ “Are you okay?” You asked Bucky, fixing his collar which Steve had pulled when Bucky carried him to the bed. “You’re not going to sick on me too?” _

_ He kissed your cheek, “no. I’m not.” _

_ “Raincheck on the arcade?”  _

_ “I think so,” he winked. “Unless we go by ourselves.” _

_ “And have Steve bitching at us for a year? No thanks.” _

_ With a smile he pulled on your hips so you were sitting sideways on his lap, your arms around his neck. You pressed a kiss to his chin before he spoke quietly, “I hope he’s better by tomorrow. Mr. White will have a fit if he’s not in biology again. He told me that I can’t ask for his homework anymore. He said he has to be there or he’s not going to pass his class. I tried to explain but he’s a prick of a man.” _

_ “A good night’s rest and some warm food should make him good again.”  _

_ The two of you were silent for a long time, content with just being in each other’s embrace and listening to Steve’s breathing from the bed. Your parents were out of town so the house was yours until Wednesday, which meant boys were staying with you. The arcade was just a little treat to kick-start the few days of being together.  _

_ You pushed your head further into Bucky’s shoulder as you thought of your relationship. It was slowly but surely becoming more like - well - a relationship. The boys were much more likely to kiss you, never on the lips, but on the temple or your forehead or your cheek. You loved it and honestly just wanted even more. You knew that being in a real relationship with three people wasn’t normal, or accepted, but you wanted it so badly. The idea of being with them forever, just the three of you, made your heart swell.  _

_ “You good?” Bucky muttered into your ear. _

_ “Yeah, why?” _

_ “I can hear the thoughts rattling around,” he replied tapping your forehead.  _

_ “Just thinking.” _

_ From the bed, Steve groaned. “So I’m stuck here while you two cuddle,” his voice was raspy and he was pouting at you both. Bucky chuckled and stood, carrying you, he walked over to the bed and waited as Steve shuffled over before laying you down so you were in between them. He climbed in after you and pulled both Steve and you closer to him.   _

_ Running your hand through Steve’s hair you sighed, you had wanted to bring this up for weeks (probably more) but had been too scared to do it. This seemed like a good time, everyone was relaxed and happy. It was peaceful as you all lay on the bed. “Are you ever going to kiss me?” _

_ Both of them snapped their heads to you, confusion on their faces. “We kiss you all the time, doll,” Bucky said. As if to prove the point he kissed your temple.  _

_ “No, I mean, like, you know, properly.”  _

_ “Do you want us to?” Steve asked.  _

_ “Obviously.” _

_ Bucky chuckled at your response. He gripped your chin in his fingers and tilted your head to look up at him, pressing his lips to yours. It wasn’t crazy, just a simple kiss. There were no fireworks or anything, but it was nice. It felt sweet, caring, and did make your head spin just a little bit. When he pulled back he tilted your face to the side and let Steve take over. He was just a good of a kisser, the feelings all the same. When he pulled back you smiled and lent your head on his shoulder as Bucky leant over your head to kiss Steve as well. Your eyes closed slightly as you relaxed, cuddled up with your boys. You had to admit, for your first kiss (even if there were two, but whatever), it was good.  _

_ “Go back to sleep, Stevie,” Bucky said when you were settled.  _

_ “‘M not tired.” _

_ “You’re slurring your words,” you replied. _

_ “Am not.” _

_ “You’re about to pass out,” Bucky said with a chuckle.  _

_ Steve frowned over your head at Bucky, but his eyes were dropping and his frown weak. You laughed and pinched his cheek. “You’re too cute.” _

_ He was about to respond when Bucky rolled his eyes and cut him off, “please go to sleep, Steve. We’ll be here when you wake up,” his tone left no room for arguments. Steve grumbled for a moment before giving in and falling asleep, his head on your shoulder. “I love you doll,” Bucky said when he was asleep. “You know that, right?” _

_ “I do.” _

_ “Good, and I always will.” _

_ ~~ _

When Steve finally came to, he couldn’t move his arms. Or his legs. Or any other part of his body. It took him a moment to go through his fuzzy memories, the roof and Bucky injecting him with the sleep aid. After a few more minutes he opened his eyes, the room he was in was nothing fancy, but it was hardly a cell. Just a plain bedroom  - more like a hospital room really. He was strapped to the bed, a table beside him and a door opposite the bed. A desk with a metal chair sat beside the door. There was a window on the wall beside the bed with sheer curtains drawn across it, but it was dark outside. 

Almost as soon as he was fully awake the door was opened, you and Bucky walking through it quickly. Bucky had a smirk on a face (and, as much as he hated it, that smirk still made Steve’s heart race faster than anything else) while you were frowning and trying to pull your hand out of Bucky’s. He seemed to grip even tighter, causing you to grind your teeth in annoyance. 

“Morning Sleepy Head,” Bucky said - to brightly for the situation - with a blinding smile. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I was drugged.”

Bucky shrugged and let go of you. As quick as you could you were by Steve’s side and pulling at the restraints. “Why is he tied down?” You asked. “I want to go home.”

“Your house was bombed,” Bucky replied pulling out the chair from the desk. 

“And you know what I mean.”

“I already told you that you can stay here.”

“And I already told you that we’re not staying.” 

He rolled his eyes, his smirk ever present, and looked back to Steve. “It’s all over, Stevie, you slept through the exciting bits. SHIELD is officially done, you’re out of a job, and I’ve got men weeding out the rest of Hydra now. Oh, and I was right. Nat, Clint, Fury, all those guys switched sides.”

“What?” Steve’s eyes snapped to yours and you nodded sadly. Nat had text you only a few minutes ago, apologizing but saying that they had to read the terrain and working for Bucky was the best thing for them. You hadn’t replied, you hadn’t had anything to say. All of them had worked with Steve for so long but they had all turned to the enemy as soon as they could. You didn’t know how to respond to that. “Lucky you,” Steve said calmly. “Guess it’s going to be harder to fight you with them on your side.”

“It’s going to be hard to fight me from inside a locked room as well,” Bucky replied casually standing up. Before you could even move he had left the room, closing and locking the door behind him just as fast. A slit opened at face level and Bucky looked in, the smirk no longer on his face. “I’m not risking losing you again-”

“You didn’t lose us,” you interrupted. “You left us.”

Ignoring you, he continued. “So you’re going to stay here for awhile. When you’re ready to transfer to a nicer bedroom, mine perhaps, just yell.”

Silence echoed around the room after he closed the slit. Steve motioned, as best as he could in his restraints, for you to get on the bed with him. You did, curling into his side and sobbing on his chest quietly. He rubbed your back softly as he cried himself, tears occasionally dripping on to your head, both of you mourning for all that had happened. For all you had lost.

~~

_ You were about to throw your phone across the room when Bucky picked up. You had been calling him for five straight minutes, the news on in the background. “What the hell!” You shouted before he could speak. “What the hell am I seeing right now?” _

_ “Hey, doll.” _

_ “Don’t, don’t Bucky. Tell me what happened. Why were you fighting Steve?” _

_ “I can’t -” he cut himself off. “What did you see?” _

_ Flicking a look at the footage on the screen you winced. “You fought Steve outside the SHIELD out quarters before, very loudly may I add, announcing that you were now on your own side. What does that even mean?” _

_ “I can’t work for SHIELD anymore.” _

_ “Why not?” _

_ “I don’t trust them. They don’t tell us everything, they hardly tell us anything. I can’t work for people that don’t trust me enough to tell me what’s happening. I’m on my own side, I’m fighting for what I think is right. I have to.” _

_ The door behind you opened, Steve stepping in with his eyes rimmed red. He mouthed ‘Bucky’ while pointing at your phone and you nodded, turning on the speaker so he could listen in. “You can’t do that. SHIELD is the good guy.” _

_ “They’re not,” Bucky muttered.  _

_ “Bucky, you’re being ridiculous.” _

_ “I’ll be at the apartment in ten minutes.” _

_ “Why?” You asked. “You’re not on Steve’s side, you’ve made that clear.” _

_ He scoffed, “I’ll always fight for Steve. Captain America? I won’t defend him.” _

_ “This makes you the bad guy.” _

_ “Guess I’m the villain then, doll.” _

_ “Have you even thought this through?”  _

_ “Yes.” _

_ You rolled your eyes, “how? This isn’t a good idea. Buck, please just come home and we can sort this out, you don’t have to fight anymore but you can’t turn your back on us.” _

_ “You can come with me,” he replied instantly. “I’m not turning my back on you. I never will. I just can’t work with SHIELD or anyone else. No one is trustworthy, not anymore. You coming with me?” Your silence was enough. He sighed sadly, tears sprang to your own eyes and Steve buried his head into your shoulder. Your breathing was coming out in short bursts as you tried not to sob. “Doll,” Bucky said after a while of all three of you trying to control yourself, “Stevie. I love you so, so much,” this time you did sob. Hanging your head you let the tears fall as he spoke. “But I’ve got to go and - and if you’re not with me you’re against me. I’m sorry,” and then the phone went dead. _

_ ~~ _

“Do you remember the time we went to Florida?” Steve asked, “I think it was a wedding, your cousin or aunt? And you begged, and begged, for weeks to let us come as well.”

“We ditched the wedding and went mini golfing.”

He smiled, standing from the desk and walking to you on the bed. The two of you had been in the room for nearly a week, six days now, and you’re really getting sick of it. You weren’t being mistreated or anything, it was just really boring being locked in one room. Once a day Bucky would come in, hand you some books or some DVD’s for the screen (the technology you had been given wasn’t very up-to-date) and ask if you wanted to swear allegiance to him. You had laughed at him the first time, thinking he was joking, but no. He was dead serious. Steve had told him to go to hell and neither of you would swear allegiance to him. 

The door opened again, Bucky stepping in. Just like every other day. “How you two going?”

“Oh I’m great,” you smiled sarcastically as he handed you a new book. 

“You know what would perk you up? Joining me in the lap of luxury.”

“You should have gone into advertising,” Steve replied dryly. Rolling his eyes he handed Steve a new pack of pencils. They were proper artist pencils, extremely rare now. You hadn’t seen any since before the war. Steve muttered a thanks (always polite) and took them as gently as he could, looking over to his sketchbook as he did so. “But you can’t buy us off.”

Bucky smiled and kissed both your foreheads - you tried to think of an excuse as to why you didn’t pull away but just like every other day you couldn’t - and left without another word.

Looking down at the book in your hands you burst into tears, Steve moved to sit beside you, pulling you into his side silently. Your mind went back to the bedroom you had been staying in before. The bird and Bucky’s arms around you. It had been basically perfect. The same thoughts came back to you, being selfish and taking what you wanted. Letting yourself switch sides to be on Bucky’s. It wasn’t like there was a side against him anymore. SHIELD was gone, your friends all working for him. There wasn’t anything, anyone, left to fight for. Sure, Steve could continue fighting Bucky and lose, the chance he won against everyone with no one backing him was so small. Or they could join Bucky, let him take over the world and have everything they ever wanted. 

Steve was no better in his own thoughts. He knew he couldn’t fight Bucky anymore, he knew he would lose no matter what. It was super soldier vs super soldier and friends. Losing would mean more pain for him and for you, something he really didn’t want. The thought of working with him came into his mind, working until he could take Bucky down alone, and then it left just as fast. Steve couldn’t bring himself to even imagine doing that to Bucky. Then he imagined actually working with him. Being side by side with him and then coming home to you again, like it was just after the war. 

You looked up at Steve, raising your eyebrows. You could tell what he was thinking as much as he could. And apparently, as much as Bucky could because the door opened a moment later and he motioned for you to come out. 

Following him silently he took you out to a different balcony. It faced out over the entrance to the mansion you were in and the little village down to the side. The people he had helped when you couldn’t. You rested your head against Steve’s arm as you both looked out on what Bucky had created. 

‘I’m definitely the villain here’ rang around your mind. Bucky had said that you, he had never tried to trick you into thinking he was the good guy all along. “Are you ready to swear allegiance to me yet?” he asked lightly, a chuckle following. 

After a quick look to Steve, you turned back to Bucky and leaned up, and just like you had done all those years ago on your bed, pressed your lips to his. 

Sealing your fate with a smile on your face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's all over, Rover!!!
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


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